You know you've been in the Middle East too long when...

You know you've been in the Middle East too long when...

1.You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat

2.You think the uncut version of 'Little House on the Prairie' is provocative

3.You think every one's first name is Al

4.You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit

5.You expect everyone to own a mobile phone

6.Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy /babysitter/maid/helper


7.You believe that speed limits are only advisory 


8.You expect all police to drive BMWs or Merc's

9.You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq

10.You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn

11.You can't buy anything without asking for a discount

12.You expect all stores to stay open till midnight

13.You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act

14.You make left turns from the far right lane

15.You send friends a map instead of your address

16.You understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph

17.You think that 'Howareyoufine' is one word. So is 'Mamsir' You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm

18.You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month

19.You have a moon phase predictor on your computer

20.You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore

21.You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something

22.You expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide

23.You realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line

24.Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts you

25.You carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case

26.You can tell the time by listening to the local mosque

27.You think its a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar

28.Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles

29.Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia

30.Problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes.